Called to ....Serve

I am going to risk sounding a bit whiny.  This is a lame post to write since I haven't touched this blog in a really long time, but I need a place to think out loud.

I got a new calling.  It actually happened about 3 months ago.  I was taken from my calling in the Young Women's after only a year and a half, and placed in the primary as the pianist.  I get asked all the time how I feel about my new calling, and I haven't really been able to put it into words.  I am going to attempt to do it now.

Let me start with a little back history on the callings I have held.  My whole life I have loved music.  When I turned 15, I recieved my first "real calling" as the ward choir pianist.  I held that calling until I graduated High School.  I enjoyed it because it taught me so much.  I learned how to play and how to follow a director, and more important, I really learned how to accompany.

When I got to College I was called as a ward missionary until my ward found out that I played the organ.  Cue 2 years of being the ward organist.

After getting married and living in our first apartment, I was called as the primary pianist.

When we moved to Springville, I was called as the music conductor of the sacrament hymns.  (least favorite calling EVER)

When we moved to our current home, something happened.  I was given a calling outside of music for the first time in my life (minus the one month of being a ward missionary).  I was called to be a part of the Young Womens Presidency.  I became part of a group of women that were called to help and support the young women in our ward, and I LOVED it.  I adored the girls that I served.  I gained lifelong friendships with some of the leaders that I worked with.  And in an instant, it all changed.  After only 1 and a half years I was released because they needed a piano player in the primary.

I was in a calling that stretched me in ways I had never been asked to stretch before.  I was gaining new talents and insight.  I was growing spiritually.  How do you feel all of those things and then just walk away and "be ok" with it all.

So, in response to the questions asked.  Am I excited to be in Primary?  No. Will I fulfill my calling?  Absolutely.  I have always been taught that I should never hide my talents.  That is why I have the calling that I do now.  I am always willing to play the piano if a need arises.  I will be in Primary every week playing the piano and supporting the primary chorister.  Maybe in time I will be more excited to be there.  For now, all I can do is be there.  It would probably help my excitement levels if someone would make sure that the stinking air conditioning worked.  I sit in my heated corner of the room behind the piano and feel like dying every week.  That is how I feel about my calling.

I do feel grateful that I have the talents that I do.  I wouldn't have worked so hard on them if they weren't important to me.  I am grateful that I was given a calling in the Young Women for the short time that I was there because it really did teach me so much.  I guess that the real reason behind everything that I feel is that once I get a music calling, that's it.  I will probably be the primary pianist for the rest of the time that I am in our ward.  There are worse things in life.

Thanks for listening.  It definitely helps to get that out there.